January
bin-lo~1.mpg Strangers_Sinatra.mp3
> Three former kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to first
> grade.
> The biggest hurdle they faced was that the new teacher insisted on "no
> baby
> talk". You need to use "big people words," she reminded them.
>
> She asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my
> Nana."
>
> "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER...and remember to use
> big people words."
>
> Next, she asked little Joey what he had done. "I took a ride on a
> choo-choo,"
> he said. "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN...use big people words!"
>
> She then asked Eddie what he had done. "I read a book", he replied.
>
> "That's wonderful," said the teacher, "What book did you read?"
>
> Eddie thought for a minute, puffed out his chest with great pride and
> said, "Winnie the SH*T."
>
> A nasty, sweaty, amazon woman, wearing a sleeveless sun
> dress, walks into a bar. She raises her arm, revealing a big
> hairy armpit. She points to all the people sitting
> at the bar and asks:
>
> "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
>
> The whole bar goes dead silent, as the drinkers try to
> ignore her, nobody makes eye contact. At the end of the
> bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says:
>
> "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
>
> The bartender pours the drink and the woman proceeds
> to drink. A little while later, after she is done, she
> turns again to the bar and points around at all of them,
> again revealing her hairy armpit and asking:
>
> "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
>
> Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on
> the bar and says:
>
> "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
>
> After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender
> approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business
> if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call
> her a ballerina?" The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any
> woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a
> ballerina!".
> News services are reporting that Osama bin Laden has
> been captured by U.S. Special Forces
>
> In a covert operation, the entire country of
> Afghanistan was sprayed with Viagra and the little
> prick popped right up.
>
>
Tickets to the game $80.00
First beer with your dad $5.50
Seeing your first set close up............priceless!
A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop,
and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and
says to the man, "This scope is so good,?you can see my house all the way up
on that hill". The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a naked woman
running around in the house", the man replies. The clerk grabs the scope
from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man
and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you
take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick
off".? The man takes another look through the scope, and says, "You know
what??I think I can do that with one shot!"