October
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> A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle
> range booth and threw down the necessary money. The booth operator at
> first refused to let him have a turn, considering that his inebriated
> state would endanger the public. But the drunk insisted and was given a
> gun.
>
> He aimed unsteadily in the general direction of the target and after
> trying to focus, pulled the trigger three times. The booth owner, on
> inspecting the target, was astonished to see that he had scored three
> bull's-eyes. The star prize for the evening was a large set of glassware,
> but the showman was certain that the drunk wasn't aware of what he had
> done, and gave him instead a consolation prize, a small, live turtle. The
> drunk wandered off into the crowd.
>
> An hour or so later he came back, even more drunk than before. Once again
> the showman demurred, but once again the drunk insisted, and once more
> scored three bull's-eyes and was given another turtle.
>
> Eventually the drunk rolled up again and insisted on a third attempt. Once
> more he picked up the rifle, waved it around in the general direction of
> the target, and pulled the trigger three times. Once more he had scored
> threebull's-eyes . But this time there was an onlooker with good eyesight.
>
>
> "That's fantastic", the man said. "Hasn't he scored three bulls?"
>
> The showman, cursing his luck, made a show of going over to the target and
> inspecting it closely.
>
> "Yes, sir!" he announced to the crowd. "This is fantastic!
> Congratulations, sir, you have won the star prize, this magnificent
> 68-piece set of glassware!"
>
> "I don't want any bloody glasses", the drunk replied. "Give me another one
> of those little crusty meat pies!"
> Cheap Beer
>
> A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a
> beer.
>
> "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."
>
> "One penny?!" exclaimed the guy.
>
> The barman replied, "Yes."
>
> So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice
> juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"
>
> "Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real
> money."
>
> "How much money?" inquires the guy.
>
> "Four cents," he replies.
>
> "Four cents?!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
>
> The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."
>
> The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"
>
> The bartender replies, "Same as what I'm doing to his business."
>
> > We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%
> >
> > Here's a little math that might prove helpful in the future!
> >
> >
> > What makes life 100% ??
> >
> > IF,
> >
> > A B C D E F G H I J K L M N
> >
> > 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
> >
> >
> > O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
> >
> >15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
> >
> > Then,
> >
> > H A R D W O R K
> >
> > 8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98 % Only
> >
> >
> > K N O W L E D G E
> >
> >11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96 % Only
> >
> > But,
> >
> A T T I T U D E
> >
> > 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100 %
> >
> > However,
> >
> > B U L L S H I T
> >
> > 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
> >
>
>