July, 2001 Dirty Jokes
The Male Brain
test.htm <-simple self-test
LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS THAT NEVER MADE IT
> 1. You Are Different And That's Bad
>
> 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
>
> 3. Dad's New Wife Robert
>
> 4. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
>
> 5. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
>
> 6. All Cats Go To Hell
>
> 7. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
>
> 8. Some Kittens Can Fly
>
> 9. That's It, I'm Putting You Up For Adoption
>
> 10. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
>
> 11. Strangers Have The Best Candy
>
> 12. You Were an Accident
>
> 13. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
>
> 14. Pop! Goes the Hamster... And Other Microwave Games
>
> 15. The Man In The Moon Is Actually Satan
>
> 16. Your Nightmares Are Real
>
> 17. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
>
> 18. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
>
> 19. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be
Friends?
>
>
>
More Bumper Stickers........
>
>
> 1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
> 2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
> 3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
> 4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
> 5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
> 6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
> 7) WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
> 8) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
> 9) VODKA: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
> 10) I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
> 11) So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
> 12) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
> 13) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
> 14) To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
> 15) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
> 16) My kid had sex with your honor student.
> 17) Earth first...we'll mind the other planets later.
> 18) I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
> 19) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
> 20) As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public
> schools.
> 21) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
> 22) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming
> and yelling like the passengers in his car.
> 23) God must love stupid people, he made so many.
> 24) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
> 25) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
> 26) It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
> 27) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
> 28) It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
> 29) Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
> 30) I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of
> yourself.
> 31) Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself.
> 32) Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
> 33) Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
> 34) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
> 35) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
> 36) CAT ~ The Other White Meat!
> 37) Vodka ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
> 38) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Assholes!
> 39) I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed; What More Do You Want?
> 40) Remember My Name ~ You'll Be Screaming It Later.
> 41) Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!
>
> 42) If You Think I'm A Bitch, Wait Until You Meet My Mother!
>
>