> Why fill up trash bags or recycling containers....

> When you get ads in your phone or utility

> bill, include them with the payment.

> Let them throw it away. Think globally, act locally.***

>

> GOOD IDEA:

>

> When you get those pre-approved letters in the

> mail for everything from credit

> cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that,

> most of them come with postage paid

> return envelopes, right?

>

> Well, why not get rid of some of your other

> junk mail and put it in these cool

> little envelopes!

> Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express.

> Or a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything

> else that day, then just send them their application back! Just make sure

>

> your name isn't on anything you

> send them. Heck, you can send it back empty if

> you want to just to keep 'em guessing!

>

> Eventually, the banks and credit card

> companies will begin getting all their junk

> back in the mail. Let's let them

> know what it's like to get junk mail, and best of all...

>

> THEY'RE paying for it! Twice!

> Let's help keep our postal service busy since

> they say e-mail is cutting into their business, and that's why they need

> to

> increase postage again!

> Send this to a friend or two or three...or fifty..

>

>

>

>

>

> A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your

> birthday?"

> "I'd love to be ten again," she replied.

>

> On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and

> off

> they

> went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride

> in the

> park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of

> Fear-everything

> there was!

>

> Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her

> head

> reeling

> and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went,

> where her

> husband ordered a Big Mac for her along with extra fries and a

> refreshing

> chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie-the latest Star Wars

> epic, and

>

> hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure!

>

> Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

>

> He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like

> being ten

>

> again?"

>

> One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."

>

> The moral of this story is, If a woman speaks and a man is there

> to hear

> her, he will get it wrong anyway.

> Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in

> Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having

> the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department

> manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the

> questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.

>

> Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the

> American the job"

>

> Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions

> correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!"

>

> Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on

> the question you missed."

>

> Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the

> other?"

>

> Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don't know.",

> You put down "Neither do I."

> ~~~~

> >Are you technologically challenged?

> >Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are

> technologically challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin' yet. " This is an

> excerpt

> from a Wall Street Journal article:

>

> >1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press

> Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking

> where the "Any" key is.

> __________________________________________________

>

> >2. AST technical support had a caller complaining

> that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover

> turned out

> to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

> >_______________________________________________________

>

> >3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective

> >diskettes.

> >

> >A few days later a letter arrived from the customer

> along with photocopies of the floppies.

> >_____________________________________________

> >4. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his

> troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked

> the

> tech to hold on and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and

> crossing the room to close the door to his room.

> >_____________________________________________

> >5. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't

> get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the

> technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by

> holding it

> in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

> >_______________________________________________

> >6. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no

> >longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with

> soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the

> keys and washing them individually.

> >________________________________________________

> >7. A Dell technician received a call from a customer

> who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and invalid.

> "

> The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"

> responses

> shouldn't be taken personally.

> >________________________________________________

> >8. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He

> >told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer.

> "

> >The user had also tried turning the computer screen to

> face the printer but the computer still couldn't "see" the printer".

> >_________________________________________________

> >9. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech

> Support couldn't get her new

> >Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer

> was plugged in, the

> >technician asked her what happened when she pushed

> the power button. Her

> >response, "I pushed and pushed on the foot pedal and

> nothing happened. "

> >The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse!

> >_________________________________________________

> >10. Another customer called Compaq tech support to

> say her brand-new computer

> >wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit,

> plugged it in and sat there

> >for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When

> asked what happened when

> >she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power

> switch? "

> >_________________________________________________

> >11. Another IBM customer had troubles installing

> software and rang for

> >support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK.

> It said to put in the

> >second disk, and I had some problems with that. But

> when it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in. . . . "

> The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1

> first.

> >_________________________________________________

> >12. In a similar incident, a customer had followed

> the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove

> the disk from its cover and insert into the drive. The user had

> physically

> removed the casing of the floppy disk and wondered why there were

> problems.

> >__________________________________________________

> >13. True story from a Novell NetWire Sysop: Caller:

> "Hello, is this the Tech Support? " Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?

> "

> Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty

> period. How do I go about getting that fixed? " Tech: " I'm sorry, but did

> you

> say a cup holder?"

> >Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer. " Tech: "Please

> >excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive

> >this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you

> get this cup holder?

> >Does it have any trademark on it? " Caller: "It came

> with my computer. I don't know anything about it being a promotional. It

> just has '4X' on it. "

> >

> >At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller

> because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had

> been

> using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it

> off

> the drive.

> >______________________________________________________

>

> >14. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem

> with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows.

> " The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a

> good

> point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his

> printer is working fine."

>