March, 2000 Dirty Jokes 

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From time to time my friend speaks with pharmaceutical sales reps who come   into her office. The other day a Glaxo rep told her of a drug that her company   has under development.

This drug sounds so promising that I want to   suggest to my friends that they consider buying stock in the company.

 The drug is called "Ginkgo Viagra," and its function is to help you  remember what the fuck you are doing.

The Phalus Study"

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head
of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and
cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason the head of a
man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more
pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, the French declared that the British
were wrong and decided to conduct their own study of the same subject.
After three years of research and a cost in excess of $250,000, they
concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to
provide the woman with more sexual pleasure.

When the results of the French study were released, Newfoundland decided
to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three weeks of intensive
research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's study was complete. They
came to the conclusion that the reason the head of a man's penis is
larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand from flying off and hitting
him in the forehead.

A man is upset because he can't get an erection anymore. He goes to

the doctor and the doctor says that he has something that might help but

he doesn't know if the man wants to try it. The man asks,"Well, what is

it?" The doctor tells him that it consists of putting the muscles of an

elephants trunk in his penis. The man is all for it anything that will

make him be able to get hard again.

Around two weeks later he is out with his girlfriend and he is feeling

kinda funny. He decides to undo his zipper since he is only going to be

sitting at the table. All of a sudden his penis comes out of his pants,

reaches across the table, grabs a roll, and disappears back under the

table.

His girlfriend is amazed by this. Do it again! Do it again! she

screams. I would, the man says, but I don't think that I can fit

another roll up my ass!

There was a midget who complained to his buddy that his
testicles ached all the time.  As he was always complaining
about his problem, his friend suggested that he go to the
doctor and see what he could do to relieve the problem.

The midget took his advice and went to the doctor.  The doctor
told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget
dropped his pants, the doctor put him up onto the examining
table and proceeded to look for the trouble.  The doctor put one
finger under his left testicle and told the midget to cough, which
he did.  "Ah!" mumbled the doc, putting his finger under the
right one asking him to cough again, which he did.

"Ahhh!" said the doctor, reaching for his surgical scissors.
Snip, snip, snip on the right side.  Snip, snip, snip on the left
side. When he was finished he told the midget to pull up his
pants to see if he still had the problem. The midget was delighted
as he walked around the doc's office and his testicles were not aching.

"What did you do Doc?" he asked.

The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the tops of your cowboy boots."