February, 2000 Dirty Jokes 

                       NOOKIE GREEN
                              **********************
A priest is in a church on Saturday afternoon, hearing confessions.

A man walks in and kneels down and begins his confession - Father, it
has been two weeks since my last confession these are my sins. Last
night I had sex with Nookie Green.

That is your sin?

Yes, Father.

You are forgiven. Go out and say one "Our Father." The man leaves.

Soon, another enters and kneels. Father, it has been one month since my
last confession.  These are my sins. I have had sex with Nookie Green
every week for the last month.

The priest thinks to himself this Nookie Green woman is fairly popular
with his male parishioners...  Those are your sins?

Yes, Father.

You are forgiven. Go out and say three "Hail Mary's." The man leaves.

Soon, another enters and kneels down. Father, it has been six months
since my last confession. These are my sins, I have had sex with Nookie
Green twice a week for the last six months.

This time, the priest has to ask - Who is this Nookie Green? Just a
woman I know, Father.

Very well-you are forgiven. Go out and say ten "Hail Mary's." The priest
closes the church for the evening and leaves wondering who this Nookie
Green woman is . . .

The next morning, the priest is up in front of his congregation saying
mass. The doors fly open in the back of the church and in walks this
woman, a tall redhead with long gorgeous hair, a green sequin dress,
green sequined heels and a green hat with a long green feather coming
from
it. She walks straight up the aisle and sits down right in front of the
priest, her knees apart. The priest cannot help but stop and stare.  He
finally catches himself and leans over to ask the altar boy

Pssssst.. . . Is that Nookie Green?

The altar boy has a look and says, No, Father, I think it's just the
reflection off her shoes.
________
When the new school year started the history teacher
was so excited because there were three little American Indian boys in her

class. She was beside herself with excitement. So she asks the first
little
Indian boy to stand up and tell the class what tribe he was from and how
he
knows this.

The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest & takes
his fist and hits it on his chest.  He says in a booming voice "I am a
Cherokee.  My Father and I walked for many moons and one day my Father
says
son, you see all this land.  This is Cherokee land.  So, I know I am a
Cherokee".

The teacher says very good and asks the next little Indian boy to
stand.  The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his chest & takes
his
fist and hits it on his chest.  He says in a booming voice, "I am a
Comanche.
 My Father and I walked for many moons and one day my Father says son, you

see all this land.  This is Comanche land.  So, I know I am a Comanche".

The teacher is growing more excited by the moment and asks the last little
Indian
boy to stand up.  The little boy stands up and proudly throws out his
chest &
takes his fist and hits it on his chest.  He says in a booming voice " I
am a
Fuckawee". The teacher looks dumb founded & says "I don't think there is
any
such tribe as the Fuckawee." The little boy says, "My Father & I walked
for
many days and many nights.  And many nights and many days.   We ran out of
water, but we kept walking.  With no rest, we were getting weary.
Finally,
one day my Father stops and with his hand to shield the sun from his eyes,

looks around.  He said "hummmm, where the Fuckawee."